So you have decided to download a dating app and join the millions of singles around the world who are swiping their way to love. However, you don’t seem to be getting as much attention or likes as you hoped, so what can you do to improve your chances of finding love? Read on to find out.
1. Writing with proper grammar
It goes without saying that a personal introduction that is free of spelling errors or grammar mistakes is highly desirable. Like it or not, when you are on a dating app, you are literally depending on just your writing (and photograph) to capture someone’s attention. It would be foolhardy for you to assume that someone would look beyond your misspelt words and appreciate you for your personality instead. The truth is, most people would just swipe left without even giving you a chance.
Otherwise, if you know a friend or family member who is an amazing writer (and who doesn’t secretly hate you), you can try to seek their help and offer to buy them dinner after.
2. Taking a profile photo that showcases your personality
Forget about all the advice out there telling you to smile and tilt your head in your selfies. Studies show that the most liked photos tend to be the ones that best showcase who you are, what you are passionate about, as well as your lifestyle. Choose high-quality photographs that aren’t blurry or taken with poor lighting, and it’s important to realise that the type of photography you upload may trigger people to create snap judgments of you.
Avoid using passport photographs (makes you seem unimaginative and lazy), professional headshots (may make you seem unapproachable or lacking in authenticity), or heavily filtered selfies (screams vanity).
Your photo is supposed to help to tell a story of who you are, so upload photos of yourself on your favourite hiking trail, crossfit gym, yoga studio, or in front of your pottery wheel. Use your photograph to create conversations and, if all else fails, take a photograph with a cute dog/cat and people will be bound to comment on it.
3. Showcase what you’re passionate about
Photo by Nik MacMillan on
Studies show that people are drawn to those who are passionate. For those of you who are serial hobbyists, this is definitely an advantage for you as you can talk about all your pet projects and hidden talents. If you don’t have time for hobbies but you’re passionate about your job or beliefs, that’s great too. For the rest, if you genuinely struggle to identify something that you are currently passionate about, here’s a simple hack: Ask yourself, if you weren’t working in your current job, what would your dream job be? If you could take any vacation you wanted, what would it be like?
4. Avoid sounding negative
We know that you have your pet peeves and that there are certain things you absolutely hate in a partner, but leave that to the second or third date before you bring them up. Afterall, if someone does something that is a deal-breaker for you when you first meet, chances are you wouldn’t want a second date anyway. We are all for you being open about who you are and what you want, but any trace of negativity in your dating profile or chat messages may make you seem judgmental, close-minded, or unfriendly (even if you aren’t).
5. Show emotional availability
In a study conducted by social psychologists Stephanie Spielmann and Geoff MacDonald, they found that when given a choice between someone who is attractive but emotionally unavailable, and someone who is less attractive but appears more expressive and caring, both women and men preferred the more emotionally available person.
So, what does it mean to be emotionally available? It means that you are willing to open up and express what you like and dislike, rather than appearing defensive, guarded, or unwilling to emotionally invest in someone. When someone is emotionally unavailable, they may take a long time to reply to your messages, give you answers that seem monosyllabic or nonchalant, and may be evasive when you try to find out more about them.
If you go overboard with trying to ‘play it cool’, you may only be driving people away. If you are truly busy and unable to reply quickly, just let your date know with a quick “Hey sorry for the late reply, I’ve just been busy with XYZ lately and haven’t had the time to be on the app.”
6. Write about what you’re looking for in a partner
When having to describe themselves, most people jump in and start rattling about the schools they went to, the cities they lived in, the jobs they worked in, the names of their pets etc. However, instead of dedicating the entire span of your personal bio to talking about yourself, write about what you are looking for in a partner.
In a study conducted, researchers found that people tend to get more matches when they spend at least 30% of their dating app profile talking about the type of people they would love to meet. Just remember not to come across as overly-demanding.
So the next time you download a dating app, remember to follow the tips above to improve your online dating experience and increase your chances of getting better matches!
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